Managing upwards

How well do you get on with your boss?

I had a familiar conversation a-la-'my-boss-is-a-PR-person-that-just-doesn't-get-IC-and-is-driving-me-nuts' with someone last week, hence the question.

I've always been tough on my bosses. It took me a very long time to realise I was being TOO tough. Fundamentally, I expected my managers to be better than me. To know everything I did and be able to do everything I could - only more, and bigger, and better. Given that I set impossible standards for myself, the standards I set for them were sky high, especially as most of them did have PR background and were never going to be IC experts - that's why they employed me.

It took me until my last in house job to realise just how impossible those standards were, and to stop fuming inwardly at the things managers didn't get about internal comms and start looking instead for the things they were good at and respecting them for those.  My last boss was phenomenally good at building relationships. When I asked him how he did it, he looked a bit perplexed because he did it naturally, but eventually said he looked for an outside work interest/topic he had in common with them and formed a bond that way.

It's amazing how much easier and less frustrating things got when I stopped stressing about what was missing and started looking at the good things. I learnt a lot more, and I developed a lot more respect and understanding for my boss. I also reflected about what I gained through having a manager without an IC background - a lot more autonomy, freedom and access to the senior team. And if there was learning I needed that I couldn't get from him, fine - I went and got it somewhere else.

Looking back, I really wish I'd learned the lesson earlier about not expecting my manager to be superman and looking for what I could value instead. I just thought I'd pass that one on, in case it saves someone else a few years of totally fruitless frustration. (I should point out that most of my managers have been really great people and I promise I haven't spent all my time inwardly moaning about them!)

Sue

PS I discovered today that the Swedish equivalent of pancake day is to eat something called Semla, a totally calorific doughy object filled with marzipan and absolutely laden with cream. Obviously I had to try one - adopt local cultures and all that, and anyway, it's a good work up to cutting out chocolate for lent - yes, really!!

Comments

[Jeroen]

In other news, someone's space bar appears to be fixed...! Did the nice guy at the garage do that too?

[Sue]

Nope, space bar is not fixed - it only works if I thump it really hard right in the middle! It took me totally ages to type this post at the airport - such is my dedication. I've got yet another plug in keyboard for when I don't have 6 hours spare to write the odd email. Which handily doesn't fit in my brief case. Sigh. I apologise SO much to the in-house IT teams I used to routinely beat up for not pandering to my every problem fast enough.

And now now, no. Nice guy at garage only does tyres. And there seems to be something odd about my runflat tyre system (to bore everyone here with the details) that keeps setting the warning light off, such that heading towards Heathrow, late as usual, on Monday, it came on yet again to tell me there was a problem. Thinking this was all getting a bit suspect, I carried on driving, and then even drove home on it when I got back, but still didn't go over the 50mph you're not supposed to exceed if a run-flat tyre, er, runs flat. (155 miles at 50mph! And with the radio off so I could hear if the tyre did actually give up the ghost!)

But no, after that fun-filled journey, all tyres are in fact fine - they think - but to be on the safe side I have to go back again at the weekend for him to check them again.(Are you just digging around here for potential material for HappySad? I'll be watching!)

[Jeroen]

I honestly wasn't, but now that you mention it... I'm getting this mental picture... Do you know the video clip from Billy Joel's Uptown Girl? :-D

[Liam]

Found this interesting post!

http://debashismishra.wordpress.com/2008/02/09/my-takeaway-the-mckinsey-way/