Ever afraid you'll get found out?

Hands up if you ever feel a fraud. Ever get that nagging feeling you're not as good as other people think you are? You've kind of got where you are by luck. You're not really an internal comms expert - half the time you make it up and hope for the best. You might look good in your company, but standards aren't high. Put you somewhere else and who knows ...

A very senior, extremely competent and highly-regarded friend told me recently that she often worries about getting 'found out' and daren't move companies in case she can't cut it anywhere else. It reminded me of a McKinsey consultant who told me everyone there thinks they're the ONE person HR let slip through the net. Screwed up the recruitment process. At any moment, they could be exposed as 'the dud' in McKinseys.

I found out today this has a name. It's called the Imposter Syndrome. Psychologists have researched it. People have written books about it. Apparently it most often affects successful women. Here's an article about it by imposterful writer Simran Bhargava.

I often see signs of it on Black Belt. People tell me they don't really know what they're doing and they're just waiting to be found out. They hold back from doing major presentations or projects in case someone notices. I see them in action on the course and end up trying to catch them in breaks, buttonhole them before they leave or email or call them afterwards to say 'Clearly NOT true! Please tell me you don't really think that about yourself!'

If this is you, what can you do about it? Here are some things I've found helpful in my imposterful moments:

1. Find yourself a champion. Championing is a coaching skill I learnt. It means standing up for people when they question their abilities. Not in an insincere or 'I'm just being nice to you because you're my friend' way. In a pointing out the reality and setting out people's strengths way. Liam is great at this. When I'm having a doubting Thomas moment he calls or emails and says 'let me tell you again why you're fantastic' and reels off a list.
2. Email a few close colleagues or friends with a list of questions. My first coach made me do this. I had to ask things like 'what three words would you use to describe me?' 'What do you most value about me?' 'What do you think I most underestimate about myself?' I felt a bit stupid doing it but I got some lovely things back and I've kept all of them.
3. One for five minutes at the end of a team meeting. Give everyone a piece of paper and get them to write their name on the top. Pass it to the next person, who writes something they most value about that team member, folds it over and passes it on, until the sheet has been around the whole team and gets back to the original person ... who unravels it and basks in a wave of compliments! My ntl one was stuck up above my phone until the day I left.
4. Keep emails or cards with thank yous or compliments people have sent you. I've got a big noticeboard above my desk (bearing in mind I work from home so the whole world doesn't see it!). It has photos of my favourite times in various jobs, coupled with leaving cards, cards from flowers, emails from leaders, project managers, team members, and yes, Black Belt people.

Some of those will feel horribly soft and fluffy for those rational Myers Briggs T types amongst you, but they're all just about holding up a mirror to say 'hang on, what's the reality here.'  Any other suggestions or observations welcome ...

Sue